Krusty General
by My Animated Imagination
Summary: After the collapse of Krusty Towers injured Mr. Krabs, he sent Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward to medical school to turn the Krusty Krab into a hospital. Do I even have to ask if anybody thinks that this will turn out horribly wrong?
1. Chapter 1

A large bus from Bikini Bottom, the kind that we are all familiar with, drove up to the recently closed Krusty Krab and dropped off several passengers. Out stepped Spongebob, Squidward, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs, all but Mr. Krabs wearing white coats.

"Well that was the worst eleven minutes of my life" Squidward said.

"Oh, medical school wasn't so bad!" Spongebob said.

"Well that's easy for you to say, we got kicked out before our first lesson!"

"We were just in medical school?" Patrick asked. Mr Krabs silenced them.

"We've got some renovating to do boys!" Mr. Krabs said cheerfully. He walked up to the door and unlocked it, holding it open for the others. They were in shock when they stepped inside. The whole interior looked like the lobby of a hospital, but there were no rooms.

"Won't we need rooms to check patients into?" Squidward asked.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Mr. Krabs said. He walked outside and threw a "Hospital in a can" onto the roof of the Krusty Krab. The can vibrated, and then grew upward until it had turned into multiple floors of rooms.

"It figures" Squidward said. "What haven't they put in a can?"

"Mayonnaise!" Patrick answered proudly. Squidward sighed.

"But Mr. Krabs, four people isn't enough to run a hospital!" Spongebob complained.

"Sure it is!" Mr. Krabs said. "I'll man the front desk, Spongebob and Patrick will be the doctors, and Squidward will be the nurse!" he said.

"I most certainly will not!" Squidward chimed in.

"Sure you will!" Mr. Krabs said. "Or I'll fill your life with misery and woe, even if you quit!" Squidward growled. Mr. Krabs handed Squidward a complete nurse's outfit and told him to "Go change, and make it quick!"

"Spongebob, you will have patients on floor 2-16, and Patrick will have patients on floors 17-30" Mr. Krabs said.

"You actually built a 30-floor hospital?" Squidward asked, now sprouting the nurse's outfit. "And you expect Patrick to serve that many patients, let alone even find the right floor number!?"

"Sure, Patrick's a smart cookie!" Mr. Krabs said, gesturing to Patrick, who was currently gnawing on his stethoscope.

_This is going to be even more of a disaster than the hotel! _Squidward thought.


	2. Chapter 2

"I must operate!" Patrick yelled from one of his many floors of patients. Right after that, a man screamed. Spongebob ran into an elevator and went up to the floor Patrick was on. He sprinted into the room with a small plaque beside it that said, "Operating Room". He saw Patrick performing shock therapy on a man who apparently did not need it. The man kept trying to get away, so Patrick had him strapped to the table by a large leather strap across his waist. His wrists and ankles were strapped to the table by tight metal rings, and he had tape over his mouth so that Patrick could "Concentrate" without the distraction of his screaming. The man also had a metal ring strapping his neck to the table.

"Patrick what are you doing to this man?" asked Spongebob, horrified at the scene unfolding in front of him.

"I'm operating, he is very sick." Patrick said, rubbing the shock pads together, generating a strong electrical current between them. The man's eyes grew as big as watermelons when he saw what Patrick was going to do to him. He tried to escape, shaking the whole table. He kept rocking, sending the table inching toward the door with each jolt.

"Oh no you don't!" Patrick yelled, running over and pulling the table into its original position before bolting it to the floor. The man's muffled screams were getting louder as Patrick put a facemask around his cone-shaped head.

"Patrick you can't do this to just some random guy off the street!" Spongebob said. "They have to actually need help!"

"He _does _actually need help!" Patrick replied. (The man furiously shook his head and screamed.)

"Just look at those moderately untrimmed toenails!" Patrick said, gesturing to the man's foot.

"Oh, I guess he _does _need help then." Spongebob said, walking out the door.

"See you later Patrick!"

"Bye Spongebob!" Patrick said. "Now then, we need an extra power shock." he said to the patient, who was now sobbing uncontrollably. Patrick plugged a cord into the back of each shock pad, and clipped the other end of the wires onto the "Portable high voltage electrical generator" that was in the operating room, ignoring the sticker that said "Warning! To only be used in case of a power failure".


	3. Chapter 3

A rather plump fish was waddling toward the new Krusty General. All of a sudden he slipped and fell, rolling on the sandy floor about 100 yards away from the establishment.

"We need an ambulance!" cried Mr. Krabs, who spotted the incident through a large pair of binoculars. Suddenly, a door slid up on the garage connected to the side of Krusty Towers and an ambulance, driven by none other than Spongebob Squarepants sped out at speeds far too fast for the short distance. Squidward had been about to sit in the passenger seat, but Spongebob took off too quickly, and now Squidward was clinging onto the door for dear life. The ambulance was almost like a rocket shooting by about an inch from the fish's head with a roar and a quick wail of the siren. The fish sighed and started rolling toward Krusty General. When he tried to squeeze through the front door, Mr. Krabs had to help him up.

"Thank you." The fish replied gratefully.

"No problem, what can I do for you?" said Mr. Krabs, panting.

"I'll have the double Krusty combo and a medium order of coral bits!" the fish said.

"I'm sorry, but this is a hospital now, and only patients can order any food." He said.

"Well, I _did _get a splinter on the way over here." He said, scratching his chin.

"Ok, we need to check this poor man in!" Mr. Krabs instantly shouted. Soon, Patrick ran down to the lobby carrying a large stretcher. Mr. Krabs helped Patrick load the rotund fish onto the stretcher, and Patrick huffed and puffed just dragging it over to the stairs. He then climbed the stairs and pulled the stretcher behind him, the head of it bumping against the edges of the stairs as he did and giving the patient a headache. As soon as Patrick was near the top, Mr. Krabs heard a scream, and saw the stretcher slide quickly back down into the lobby and into the wall. The patient moaned as Patrick took the stretcher and started dragging it to the top yet again, not even remembering that there was an elevator made especially for these types of situations. Mr. Krabs chuckled to himself as he continued counting his money.

Meanwhile, back with Spongebob and Squidward, the ambulance was whizzing through downtime Bikini Bottom, a little worse for the wear. Squidward was still screaming, hanging onto the door. Spongebob was intently at the wheel, focusing on getting to the patient (Whom they had passed a few miles ago!). Spongebob eventually swerved to the side so much that he was actually driving on the sidewalk! He ran right through a stop sign and drifted into a right turn. The force of the drift lifted the latch on the back of the ambulance, and before you knew it, medical supplies of all varieties were spilling out behind the crazed vehicle. Pedestrians had to dodge knives and scapulas, while one fish was hit by a gurney! Squidward was still hanging on barely as they sped down the sidewalk, knocking pedestrians up and backwards behind the ambulance as so often happens when boats hit passengers in Bikini Bottom! Finally, a pedestrian flew back and knocked Squidward's grip off of the door, and Squidward and the pedestrian were tangled in a heap and thrown several feet behind the ambulance. Soon, the whole town was on fire as it has been many times before! Spongebob was still navigating through the busy streets, completely oblivious to all the destruction he was causing. He eventually stopped the ambulance, got out, and loaded a nearby fish into the empty back of the ambulance and latched it before speeding off again toward Krusty Towers.

Back at Krusty Towers, Patrick was dumping a dustpan full of ashes into a trashcan already half full of them. A pair of eyes fell in after the ashes, joining the other dozen pairs sitting there, talking and blinking. A commotion arose when the new pair joined the others. Several pairs asked, "What happened to you?" and, "Oh look, another guy!" one said in disgust. Patrick closed the lid, muffling the voices. He clapped his mitten-like hands together in satisfaction.

"Another patient cured!" he said. Suddenly, an ambulance came shooting back toward Krusty Towers and barely screeched to a halt inside the garage. Spongebob took the fish from the back of the ambulance and into the lobby, which was covered in fish trying to check in. Some were just mildly injured, but others were angry piles of ashes. There was also a line stretching all the way to the burning city.

"I got him!" Spongebob said, plopping the fish onto the ground and seeing the fury on Mr. Krabs's face.

"Boy, look at all the people! What have you guys been doing all day?"


End file.
